What the fuck am I doing with myself and my life??? In 1 word I describe my life as “SHIT”...I have a zillion friends but what happens when I need them? Where do they all disappear?? Each one has to look out for himself or herself and that’s the truth then why do we waste more than half our lives affiliating and making friends. I just want to list all my troubles because I can’t contain them inside me any longer:
>Your past never leaves you alone however hard you try to run away from it.
Alsh (past) has been calling up and mailing me, proclaiming his “true” love for me. And if you ask me, he’s just trying hard to get into my pants (most of the guys do). He is a closed chapter in my life; actually he never was a chapter.
>MOTHER IS AN OVERRATED CONCEPT …I have never confessed it to anyone till now, because saying it out loud makes me sound like a horrible person…but you know what I HATE MY MOTHER for everything she has ever said to me or done to me... (There I have said it, now you can judge me all you want)
>Why is it that to get over all your problems you need MONEY for it? And if it’s that important then why is it that going to any extremes for it, makes you a money minded bitch. You know what sucks the worst when you don’t have it but your friends do, and all you do is lend or, wait, help them shop for beautiful things. Do you know how difficult it is to smile and tell your friend that it looks beautiful on her and no one else (when all you’re wishing in your head is I wish I could)
>GOD, I don’t know what to say. I was told that God always love you no matter what .then what happened?? My theory is that he loves and favors you only when something terrible happens to you( and you know what for that I don’t mind losing out on a leg)…I hope you are listening up there.
>LINTA, my best friend hate you for a lot of things (nothing for what you did to me) just for what all you have and for what you are…Beautiful, Smart ,Successful in whatever you do ,Rich enough to lend me money always( This is something I ‘m not going to tell anyone)
>SANKET, my boyfriend (yes I have one)…I find it hard to trust him sometimes (it may all just be in my head but I do) and every time I think about it, I feel like a horrible person. And if I tell him that either he gets upset or tell me to trust him…I’m so scared to lose him that sometimes asking help from him feels like I’m burdening him with unwanted baggage (I did try telling him that, a few days back but didn’t succeed). I could have asked Alan for help, but he thinks it’s his responsibility and no one else’s. Just a page out of my everyday life…
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